true friendship is. . .

Disclaimer: this is a "my life," post. feel free to avoid. haha....

Yesterday, I saw this in a book store in Claremont, on a little magnet. It said something like:

"Friendship begins when someone knows what you are really like, but still like you anyway."

Almost two months ago, I posted on my livejournal asking what the purpose of friendship was, because the people who I had considered to be my friends -- I feared they actually weren't --or were not doing what I expected of them. In college I have different sets of friends. I have my close group of friends, my activist friends, my party friends, etc. And it's funny, because it was not just one of my groups, but all each in their own ways were failing me. I then began to doubt many of friendships in my life. I started to wake up and continue to realize how many acquaintances those friendships turned out to be.

Sometimes I wish the acquaintances would become true friendships. I think that's where my problem lies...

I wish I could psycho-analyze my life because I've had a lot of difficulty with friendships, more so than the average person, I think. er. maybe? In high school, my memories are divided into the moments when my friendships fell apart. When I was in high school, I was closer to my middle school friends.

Maybe it's true that my friends aren't there for me, but maybe I'm not there for them either. I can't seem to find the balance. Even in McNair, last week I felt myself trying to push away from the other students here.

Before I got to college, I was very wary of making new friendships. Now in college, I think I take them on too readily, making myself vulnerable that has been leaving me hurt in the long run.